Time passed in a cold, painful blur, forgotten. Somewhere in the grey-white haze, she felt herself stir, toss on the edge of welcome sleep. Death lurked skull-white just outside the glossy frost clinging to the canopy of her corpse-like rig but never came in, only leered in at her though ice, grinning, taunting her with a voice like relentless, scouring wind. How much time passed before she finally woke again, there was no way to tell. Her eyes simply drifted open, found themselves staring blankly off into featureless grey-white abyss.

Survival lingered on the edge of her mind, tried to grab a foothold but only scrabbled loosely, unable to gain purchase while her thoughts spun off in darker directions, uncaring, wishing for death, holding on to the receding pain that still hung on in her butchered arm. Thoughts of Izzy came rolling back like distant thunder, memories of movement, moments, touching, life and thought that brought smiles to Tessa’s tortured lips, stole them away when she awoke to the cruelty of cold reality. Tears like thick, icy jewels lingered on the edges of her eyes, hung there, refused to break, refused to let go until she blinked, wished again for death, for Izzy, for some release from the hell she’d locked herself into. Her hand crept toward the space between her seat and the fuselage where the bullpup rifle had been strapped, grasped empty air. She sighed, and the sound came sad and tired. No easy way out.

Just a little longer, and it won’t matter. Came the dismal thought again. Freezing to death or dying of starvation. Not great ways to go, eh, Izzy? The edge of a smile formed across her lips. Oh well. Take what you can get.

Or not.

In the haze of her mind, a shape moved, picked up colors. Tessa swallowed. Izzy.

When Izzy came to her, it was as if in a dream, her pale, bloodless face behind ice, staring back at Tessa over aviator-frame glasses. Chestnut hair flared in an unfelt breeze, drifted in wispy strands across the fabric of her blood-spattered flight suit. Sound came slow, as if from a distance, echoing surreally before it blossomed into Tessa’s mind, rich with all the silky tones she remembered, all the nuances of a voice she had missed so completely, a love she had never forgotten.

Why are you so eager to die, Tess?

In her mind, Tessa closed her eyes, swallowed distantly. I miss you, Izzy.

I know. Izzy managed a smile back. But it isn’t your time, Tess. You shouldn’t be seeking death like this.

What does it matter? Tessa asked. I’m going to either starve to death or freeze before they get here anyway.

No, you’re not. Izzy crossed her arms, made a gesture. Remember the MREs that Blavatsky had packed in your rig? Or what about your implants? I’m in your mind, Tess. I know what you’re capable of now. We both know that you can survive this if you do it right.

My life hasn’t been the same without you, Izzy.

And Dimitrov’s life wouldn’t be the same without you, Tess. Izzy said softly, letting the fire rise in her voice as she continued. Time to be a real woman about this and think about someone other than yourself for a fucking change.

I’ve thought about others my entire life, Iz. Tessa shot back. Being an LC isn’t just about leading, its about protecting, its about keeping people alive. Why do you think I risked everything to join the TCGND? Because I wanted to make a difference. I wanted to protect people, keep them safe. It’s time I thought about what is right for me. She paused. For us.

That’s the old you, Tess, the you I fell in love with. Izzy made a brief gesture. We both know you’ve changed. You’ve gone back to that wild bitch you were when we first met, only you’ve taken it further, gone a totally different, self-serving direction with your life.

I had to. Tessa said simply. You were everything to me. You were my life. I had to start over and go in a new direction.

This isn’t forever, Tess, you know that, and it isn’t goodbye. Take care of what you need to do, take care of the people who care about you. We’ll see each other again sooner than you’ll probably like.

Tessa laughed a weak, tear-soaked laugh.

I doubt it, Iz. I miss you so much.

I know. Izzy said softly. Now get back there and do what you have to do.

And then, in the space of a blink, she was gone, leaving only the cold crust of ice on the canopy in her wake.