Here I am again. Came the thought. Surrounded by the dead.

Tessa blinked, looked up from the floor to let her eyes move slow across the gauss bay. This time, there were only two of them. Only two coffins, two flags to drape across them, two corpses– but one of them was Izzy, and the other was Davidson. Two more Minerva squadron pilots lost to the Coralate. Two more letters to grieving families. Two more friends lost forever.

Tessa swallowed uncomfortably. Standing stony-eyed and rigid in a darker corner of the bay, she clutched a bouquet of hydroponic hydrangeas brokenly in cold, immovable hands. Around her, pilots from the Von stood hardfaced and troubled, scattered in tight little knots of broken minds and wounded psyches. One by one, people paid their respects to the dead, glanced up occasionally at her, regarding her with blank looks that said nothing, meant nothing. Slowly, tiredly, she closed her eyes. It was all too familiar, painfully familiar, as if time had cruelly ripped its script from the vision she’d had aboard the Hok.

“They were both fine pilots, Eisenherz.” Virek said gently, stepped up to touch her shoulder in a soft, almost paternal gesture. Slowly, reluctantly, she met his eyes, blinked against the onset of fresh tears. “Especially Copperfield.” He looked down for an instant, met her eyes again loosely. “The Navy lost a great deal of talent when we lost her.”

“Yeah.” Tessa managed, and the word came weak, tear-raspy.

Pulling in a deep breath, the Admiral nodded once, offered the weak edge of a smile, and then patted her shoulder gently as he walked away. Glancing once at the coffins, Tessa’s eyes dropped again to the deck almost immediately, unable to face the cold reality that stretched on before her. The soft pastels of the bouquet in her hands were oddly comforting, gave her the wisp of forgotten strength she needed to draw breath, to look up again and take the first step toward inevitability, toward the final farewell to Izzy and Davidson. Less than ten paces away, Phoebe stopped beside Izzy’s coffin, ran one hand absently across the smooth top, eyes seeking those that stared smilingly back from the holograph resting there. From where Tessa stood, she could see the moistness building in Phoebe’s eyes, the tears breaking free– and then all at once, the young Lieutenant dropped to her knees and cried, sobbing openly against the casket.

“Sweet girl” Someone said, and the sound, the memory it invoked raised hair across the back of Tessa’s neck. Turning to glance in the direction of the voice, her eyes found those of Dimitrov, found dark amber staring back at her as he sniffed, gesturing vaguely. “You were her LC, right?”

“Yeah.” Tessa managed, swallowing against a knot of tears that threatened to rise in her throat.

Dimitrov nodded, gaze dropping to his feet. “Yeah.” He looked up again, met her eyes, his own gaze searching, flicking. “You know about her boyfriend, then... back Earthside?”

Tessa blinked, stared silently. Dimitrov breathed a tired sigh, gestured vaguely. “Look, I can understand if you have issues, but he deserves to know what’s happened out here.” He managed a rough, tired smile. “Poor bastard. I’d hate to be in his shoes, now or ever.”

“Your point,” She bit off, glancing at his rank insignia, fighting to ignore the clouding, the blurriness of oncoming tears. “Lieutenant.”

“When you send on the package, put this in it.” He handed a palm-sized bundle off to her, a weight of something wrapped lightly in a soft, red fabric. “I don’t know if he’s religious at all, but if you tell him you found it in her room, it’ll mean a lot to him, I’m sure.” He paused, swallowed. “Clear up any doubts he uh... might have had.”

Slowly, carefully, gripped by a sudden irrational fear that came with half-knowing what she would find wrapped in that bundle, she lifted away edges of the fabric, opening the little package to look at the resin figure cradled gently within. Cold seized her, set in with renewed strength as she recognized the shape of a woman, recognized the image of the upraised and exposed palms, the striking eyes, the stigmata marks on open hands and feet, the bleeding third eye framed by a triangle that stood out in the center of her forehead, a perfect match for the bound eye raised across her chest. Tessa exhaled quickly, covered the figure again immediately, whole body suddenly filled with fear and shaky fight.

St. Von Mitternacht, She almost dared to whisper. Patron Saint of the Genetically Modified. Eyes closed, squeezed against tears, tears that came with a thousand realizations, realizations that ripped through her heart, butchered her soul anew. Lips parted on a shaky, broken noise, a wet breath. Dimitrov blinked, took a careful step forward.

“Hey...” He tried, almost reached for her, hesitated. “You okay, Tessa?”

“Yeah, I...” She grimaced, forced herself to meet his eyes even as fresh tears poured down her cheeks, caught on the edges of an almost invisible forced smile. “I’m... still not feeling all that well.” She looked away. “Excuse me.”

“If you need anything.” Dimitrov tried, and she stopped, glanced back at him in time to catch his soft smile. “Anything, a friend, a shoulder to cry on... anything at all, you just let me know, okay?”

“Okay.” She said softly. “Thank you, Ben.”

Nodding once, gently, he folded his hands together in front of himself as he watched Tessa make her way to the casket, to Izzy’s side, her eyes reluctant to meet the brilliant and wild smile in the holograph– Izzy as she would have wanted to be remembered, as everyone else would ultimately remember her. Tessa closed her eyes, gently set the bouquet at the base of the holograph, crouched down beside Phoebe, and reached out in a tender gesture, pulling Phoebe into a silent, sideways hug.

“I can’t believe she’s gone.” Phoebe blubbered, eyes never rising, never leaving the deck.

“I know.” Tessa managed. Looking down, she blinked past new tears, bit her lip. “I’m really going to miss her.”

Phoebe looked up, sniffed, wiped at the wetness in her eyes.

“She was, really important to you, huh LC?”

Tessa nodded softly, tried a smile. “I never told you, but I loved her. We were...” She looked up, pulled in a deep, shaky breath, laughed once, wryly. “Just last week we were talking about the possibility of marriage, y’know, maybe someday.” She looked down again, breathed a broken sigh. “A lot has happened in the last few days.”

“I didn’t realize you two were so close, that you were...” Phoebe swallowed, gestured. “Y’know?”

Tessa nodded once, offered another soft smile. “Yeah.”

“I–” Phoebe started, hesitated. “I really looked up to her, LC. And to you...” She looked away, shook her head. “She was so smart, and pretty. She never took any crap off anybody, and I’d always look at her and just say ‘man, someday I want to be just like Izzy.’” She looked over, met Tessa’s eyes again. “She was just... that cool to me.”

“You’re already that cool, Phoebe.” Tessa offered, reaching up to ruffle the young Lieutenant’s hair with a teary smile. “You’ve still got a little growing up to do, but I think...” She paused, swallowed. “I know Izzy was proud of you. I’m proud of you.”

For the first time since she’d entered the bay, Phoebe smiled, genuinely smiled, and as it spread, the radiance of it provoked the same change in Tessa’s features. An instant later, Phoebe reached out and found Tessa in another hug, buried her face in the LC’s shoulder, staining uniform fabric with tears that were partly happy, partly sad.

“Promise me you won’t go anywhere, okay LC?” She breathed. “I want to keep making you proud.”

Tessa couldn’t help it– she laughed, and as she hugged back, holding Phoebe tightly and grinning over the young Lieutenant’s shoulder, she nodded.

“Okay.” She managed. “I’ll do my best.”

But I can’t make any promises.

It’s still... too soon.