“Yeah.”

“One of my pilots and an older guy, a retired vet from the war in ‘45.” Tessa’s eyes met Dimitrov’s, snared them in a glance that hid the monologue of thought and image that flitted across skin and neuron between the her and Izzy. “They were in the simulator when this whole thing went down. Put them both into some kind of shock.”

You know him? Tessa asked through the link of the touch. Izzy glanced at her reflexively, swallowed, opened her mouth, closed it again.

“Sounds nasty.” Dimitrov shook his head. Izzy met Tessa’s eyes for an instant, looked away. We met yesterday, came the quick thought, on the observation deck. She opened her mouth, pulled in a shaky breath. It’s not what you think. “You’d think they’d have installed failsafes against that kind of thing, something to catch whatever it was before it hit them.”

“You’d think.” Tessa said flatly, eyes blinking slowly, gaze full of tired disquiet. What do I think it is?

“Myself, I was with my rig in the hangar when the power went out. You should have seen the size of the arc that blasted its way through a bulkhead and wiped out half the repair consoles down there.” Dimitrov gestured, excitement, the fear and the rush of a near miss with death clear on his face. As he continued, Izzy’s eyes dropped to her feet, her thoughts coming broken, quiet. He’s married. “Calvalcanti was down there with me,” he added, made another loose gesture, “Hogue, a few others. We did what we could and hoofed it this way with all the injured techies we could carry. It was a mess.”

“Sounds like it.” Came Tessa’s response. I know that, and you should know that even if he wasn’t, I... She swallowed unconsciously, couldn’t finish the thought.

That you’d be okay with it? Izzy finished, eyes snapping back to meet Tessa’s, sad but solid now. You can’t say it, you can’t tell me that honestly and mean it. Slowly, absently, Izzy’s eyes drifted back to the floor. I know you too well. In some ways, you’re as old fashioned as me.

“I was actually just getting ready to join one of the search parties going back into the ship to look for more injured, if you two want to come with.” Dimitrov grinned. Tessa’s eyes dropped to the deck, suddenly defeated, defenses broken, tumbling down. Dammit Iz. I’m trying. “I’m sure we can scare up an extra flashlight, and I know we could use an extra pair of beautiful ladies like yourselves down there.”

“No, we’re fine.” Izzy said quickly, only sparing him a glance before her eyes fixed hurriedly on Tessa’s rising gaze. It’s okay, there’s nothing wrong with it. You love me, I can see that.

But jealousy? Tessa swallowed again, looked away. True love is being able to let the one you love be free to pursue happiness wherever it leads...

“Right, well...” Dimitrov glanced away, eyes lingering for a moment on the medical bay. Izzy squeezed Tessa’s hand tighter, eyes sharpening on Tessa’s fleeting gaze, hunting it like a predator stalking nimble prey. But there’s always that fear, that fear that if one loves another, that if the one you love falls in love with someone else...

You wouldn’t do that to me. Came Tessa’s response, a statement that lingered in the touch like a question, unsatisfied.

Wouldn’t kick you to the curb for a man like Dimitrov? Izzy’s thought came strong and clear, so much of a backhand that it yanked Tessa’s attention back to her, snared her gaze and captured her eyes as completely as any slap or stab. No, I wouldn’t. Izzy swallowed, her eyes intense. But would you? What was that comment about him seeing you in your underwear?

“Maybe later.” Tessa looked up, gave Dimitrov a soft smile. “There are some things...” She made a loose gesture between herself and Izzy. “There are some things we need to talk about.” You’re not lying, but you’re not telling the whole truth. I can feel it.

And you’re trying to dodge the question. Izzy’s thought came sharp and direct, the point of a knife.

“No rush.” He held up a hand, smiled again. “Teams will be coming and going as long as there are wounded to attend to. I’m sure you can hook up with any one of them.” Tessa nodded, looked away. I love you, Izzy, I always will, but...

But if you found something better?

That’s not it. Tessa’s eyes leapt up to lock with Izzy’s. We’re young, Iz. Who knows what will come along for us, for either of us.

Like a man who isn’t tainted by the tampering, godless hand of genetic engineering?

Tessa looked away. She couldn’t help it, could no longer meet Izzy’s eyes, no longer bear the knife edge of her thoughts. Pulling away, she broke the connection between them, taking only enough time to thank Dimitrov quietly before she began to cry, before tears began to spill openly from her eyes and trace wide trails down her cheeks. Dimitrov blinked in confusion, glanced at Izzy, but caught only the edge of anger fading into shock and pain that flared in her eyes. Slowly, uncertainly, he reached out to touch Tessa’s shoulder, a gentle reminder that someone was there, someone she could talk to, someone who would listen. “Hey... Tessa, you okay?” Izzy reached for Tessa’s hand again, hesitated, unsure, the fire that had caught in her soul dampening, dying to scattered, bare embers.

“I–” Tessa tried, suddenly overwhelmed with the feeling of being broken, of being a mess of fractured glass inside, a fragile heap of bits and edges that could bite or shatter under the edge of any blade that knew how to cut deep enough, any blade that Izzy might fashion, wield. “I’ll–” She sputtered. “It’s just...”

“You’ve been through a lot the last few days.” Dimitrov said softly, kneeling down beside her. “I know you’re all into acting tough, but it’s okay. You deserve to have a good cry.” He managed a smile. “I understand. I really do.” He swallowed. “Ask me about the campaign for Seventh Yorkshire sometime.” He paused, glancing away for an instant, unable to continue past a knot that was forming in his own throat. “We may be airmen, but we’re still soldiers. We’ve all been through hell, we all have our skeletons, our issues.” He squeezed her shoulder, blinked past the buds of tears clinging to his own eyes and stood, putting on the best smile he could manage. In the pause, Tessa glanced up, met his eyes, tried her own broken attempt at a smile.

“Thanks, Ben.” She managed, forcing the curve for an instant before it fell away, before her eyes fell away again, red and tear-streaked. He nodded silently, and in that instant, Tessa felt Izzy’s hand on her back, a soft patch that pressed gently into skin and lit her heart with soft light and the whisperings of kind phrases, mumbled words that rose like feathered light. Tessa laughed a single, ironic and sobbing laugh, fought with a smile that was more like the painful baring of teeth as the words reached her heart, blossomed in her mind.

Tess, I– I shouldn’t have...

I’m sorry.